I am so missing a funny bone. It’s true. I can’t tell a joke to save my life. And that’s because I can never remember how to get to the punch line. It doesn’t matter if it’s good, bad or really dirty – nothing sticks! It goes through one ear and whizzes right out the other. So my jokes usually come out like this, "A panda walks into a bar ……. no, wait, I think it was a restaurant ….. wait, wait, it was a bar… hang on …. doesn’t matter …. anyway, he orders a drink, I think ……….. ummm ……………………………………..crap!."
It’s all very sad and so I don’t even bother anymore. Until a couple of Friday nights ago. That’s when we usually drive the 8-year old home and during the car ride, we make up silly songs and play all kinds of games. Recently, he’s really into jokes and riddles, and entertains us non-stop with all the funny, clever material he’s learnt from his older brother. It was all very fun until he asked, "So you got any jokes?" I tried the panda one and the kid went, "Ummm, I don’t get it" Who could blame him? Of course, wanting to be the coolest aunt around, I promised to learn a couple of jokes. Then last Friday night, as we were getting ready to leave, the kid looked at me, all excited and went, "So, how many jokes did you learn this week?" Shit! I had completely forgotten about it! Bad auntie! I attempted a couple of half-assed jokes and needless to say, fell completely flat on my face.
Extremely contrite, I rushed to the bookstore the next day, picked up a joke book for kids and started memorising jokes even as I was queuing to pay. I practiced the entire week and on Friday night, proudly declared that I was going to tell jokes in the car.
Sigh … turned out that a lot of effort still does not a funny bone make. But here’s the important bit, folks- I may not be the funniest or coolest aunt around but the kid gave me credit for trying. And that’s what counts. (of course, I could just be consoling myself here *sob*)
Anyhoo, here are a couple of the jokes I tried. Maybe you guys will have better luck with them.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
What’s the different between a well-dressed man and a tired dog?
The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a chicken?
Drumsticks for everyone!