All the better to eat you with

I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST!!! 

I hate everything about it.  I hate the water jet thingy they use for cleaning.  I hate the polishing powder even though it’s usually strawberry in flavour.  I hate having to rinse blood out of my mouth.  I hate having the dentist floss for me.  I hate having saliva and water spraying out all over me.  I hate having to hold my mouth wide open until it cramps up.  I hate having my gums prodded and poked with instruments so sharp that there should be law banning them from coming anything less than 5ft from my mouth.  I hate not knowing where to look or focus my eyes while I’m having my teeth cleaned.  I hate being in a reclining chair and feeling helpless.  And I hate how I always feel like I’m going to gargle and choke on my own saliva and die. 

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I must say my teeth are the cleanest they have been in the past one and half years.  Hmmmm, they’re so clean that I can feel the tiny little gaps between my two front teeth. 

Right, now I’m going off to brush my teeth with the softest toothbrush I can find.  Turns out my love for hard toothbrushes and my vigorous brushing technique has managed to wear down my tooth and I have created an entire cavity all on my own.  I know, who needs bacteria, right?

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